fickle-ly kanchiong

very anxious about summer plans now. what if i don't get an internship? i've not heard from anyone. should i stay and work for summer and then go home for the last 2 weeks? should i just go home and give up? should i apply for a job at the mc-pc and have a gala time and be broke the next semester?
i've have also come to the very important conclusion that this will be my last semester in grantham. i have purposed to spend fall of next year in the london internship program and then the spring in philadelphia again. it will be sad that when i do don that gown and walk the platform, i will recognize 5 faces in the audience. and have 3 people applaud me. but, such is the life of the nomad, the thrill of the journey taking precedence over familiarity and comfort. so if i have that london internship, should i still be seeking an internship for summer? i will probably be going to london from kl and it's so thrilling to be on board that plane (hopefully surrounded by friends) and being in reachable distance to companions who have become shadowy acquaintances.
so excited and scared and disappointed and hopeful.