pull hair out, be complacent, pull hair out again

aiyoh, where am i to find the motivation to finish homework when all i want to do is have fun in the city?

last night

so gratuitous

yeah, so about halloween.....

wedged

i have a confession that i will not make.
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fucking hilarious.
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weyling and ly, i have to be back at messiah on jan 2nd. might have to alter christmas plans slightly.

demi seni

untuk menulis, seorang penulis harus fasih berkomunikasi tidak kira apa bahasa.

dua hari lalu, saya terfikir, hidup manusia adalah untuk menjadi kuli ... kuli kepada sejarah dan tradisi.
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perkataan saya terlalu singkat dan buruk.
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mengapa manusia sebegini?

on a high, on a high

this is what studying intermittently does to your mind and your eyes. an economics exam on friday that covers a measly four chapters but i pamper myself by studying in front of the computer, read a paragraph then look people up on thefacebook.com, read another paragraph then perhaps read everyone's away messages, read half a paragraph, grumble about my inconsistency, look up sufjan stevens website (i'm fucking seeing him tomorrow). it takes me about 3 hours to finish a chapter, and even at that, i emerge with a spotty knowledge of the material.
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thefacebook has this feature which allows you to poke someone.
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i was looking at pictures on thefacebook and my eyes start playing tricks on me, my vision becomes kaleidoscopical..."that's a weird picture. the face looks disjointed...i wonder if he/she photoshopped it," i say, then i look closer and realize that it's a completely normal picture.
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epiphanical moment of the week: study abroad (england/china/japan) fall semester senior year.
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the word effluvium means a noxious odor. it is used countless times in william faulkner's absalom, absalom!
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is there practicality in theory?

ridiculous

i sit in a pile of undone and unread assignments but yet my fingers are a flurry on the keyboard. what to search next? whose blog to read? what site to visit?
then it occurs to me at the amazon website, as i'm looking at used copies of a hundred years of solitude, that i am repulsed by literature now and even if i were excited about it, i should probably be reading books on the syllabus.
sinking, a victim of addiction, like yellow to opium, like insects to the zapper.

flux then redux

it has come to my attention that i am behaving like a sappy bastard, discontented with the road that has unraveled itself before me. but there is only one road and it leads straight, therefore i trudge along it, sometimes lonesome, sometimes weary, and other times jovially.
in this state of lurching forward without making the necessary preparations, i trip and often fall. perhaps it would be wise for me to get ready and to focus on focusing.
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my inner qi and my outer taste buds are craving for some good chai now.
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am i pretentious or what?
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queer theory

resuscitation

with two exams looming and a stack of papers to churn out, i update my blog.
so virginia woolf, not so bad after all.
i am in denial. my next country stop might be canada.
how about the other day with me being dressed up and shit, copies of resume in hand, at the job fair.

*intense pressure to fascinate and induce jealousy*